Past and Present
by Ning Ning
Summary: Syaoran shouldn't remember, yet when he finds a girl sick on the sidewalk, memories begin to stir. Sakura has a secret she should keep, but with the current events, she doesn't know what to do anymore.
1. 1: How the Mighty Have Fallen

**Past and Present**  
**Disclaimer:** I do not own CardCaptor Sakura, and I am not profiting from this, either.

_One: How the Mighty Have Fallen_

(_damnit I should've brought an umbrella_)As the young girl wiped her damp hair from her forehead, she could feel it burning. She squinted her eyes to see who the figure approaching her was when she felt her knees go weak. Struggling as much as possible to wait for him to reach her, she trembled before the sidewalk kissed her face roughly.

---

(_o how the mighty have fallen_)

Syaoran ran to the lump that was on the sidewalk. Placing his palm on her forehead, he felt the fever almost burn his fingers. Snapping his hand back quickly, he picked her up, marveling at how light she was. Oddly enough, he felt some sort of attachment with her, something that made him protectively cradle her, pressing her head against his chest, securely holding onto her. He walked quickly to his home, rivulets from the rain soaking them to the bone.

"Wei, I'm home," he cried out as he worked the knob and pushed himself in. "Make some soup, please?" He laid the girl down on the couch, feeling uncomfortable in his wet clothing and knowing that she was feeling worse.

"Welcome back home, Master Li. Is there anything else?" Wei looked at the wet girl and didn't say anything.

"Yes," Syaoran replied, still staring at the girl, "send Meiling in."

Wei nodded, leaving the room. Meiling walked into the room, looking at him expectantly."Yes, Syaoran?" She wrapped a strand of hair around her finger, her lips curled back into a slight sneer at the girl he was adoring.

"Do you…" Meiling raised an eyebrow as Syaoran fumbled for his words. "We need to change her out of these clothing and get her dry," he finally said firmly.

"And I suppose you want me to do that?" Syaoran glanced at her briefly before nodding.

"If you don't mind."

She grimaced at the clipped tone he used with her. "As you wish," she said, bowing with a flourish. As she walked to her room, she clenched and unclenched her fingers, gritting her teeth. She counted to five (_yi er san si wu_) breathing deeply. By the time she reached her drawers, she felt mildly at peace. She grabbed a large t-shirt and a bra from her clothing before deciding that she would go to Syaoran's room to get a pair of boxers for the drenched girl. Also grabbing a towel, the anger began to flush back into her system as she began praying to the Goddess of Mercy.

(_kinomoto sakura so we meet again_)

Bouncing back down the stairs, Meiling stopped as she heard a voice whisper haggardly. Running down the stairs to the room, she saw only a single tear run down her ex-fiancé's cheek.

---

As Meiling trudged up the stairs, Syaoran pushed some auburn tendrils out of the girl's face.

(_her eyes her eyes her eyes_)

Syaoran felt a warm tingle go through his body as he felt the skin underneath. It felt remarkably familiarly, as if the softness of a –

(_cherry blossom cherry blossom_)

He felt a flush rise from his neck as he accidentally brushed past her breast. He pulled his hand away quickly, ignoring the way it puckered even at the slightest touch from him. He gritted his teeth to prevent from placing his hand against it; to knead softly; to let his fingers trail…

When Syaoran opened his eyes after his heavy concentration, he realized his hand had somehow placed itself on her stomach. His palm rose and fell with her breathing, his fingers splayed.

The girl woke up, putting one hand over Syaoran's, staring dazedly into his eyes."Oh, Syaoran-kun…I'm sorry…" The girl shook her head slowly before settling back into her sleep.

A tear fell down Syaoran Li's cheek. A lone tear slipped as he heard the haggard whisper.

(_oh gods sakura how could you do this?_)


	2. 2: Don't Even Know

**The Past and Present**  
**Disclaimer:** See first chapter.

_Two: Don't Even Know_

Sakura Kinomoto instinctively began to purr while stretching out on the cotton sheets. Sunlight streamed from the blinds making the room welcoming, bathed in yellow light. Yet, she began to realize discrepancies as her eyes opened. The room she was in was a light green (hers was blue) and the sheets she was currently wrapped in were the same color. The thought that the person whose room she was rather boring was pushed quickly aside when déjà vu hit her quickly. She knew whose bedroom this was.

(_this cannot be happening_)

"Syaoran-kun…" Sakura let out the air that had caught in her throat. Her breathing became shallow as she sat, shocked and dizzy.

"I'm glad you're awake. Hungry?" Syaoran came in, a tray with a bowl of soup in his hands. Sakura looked at him, wondering if he would remember. It didn't seem like it, and she nodded demurely, shifting her glance to the wall behind him.

(_NO! STOP IT!_)

Syaoran handed her the bowl of soup. He watched as she brought the spoon up to her cracked pale lips. If he used a bit more imagination, he would be able to see those lips suddenly bloomed into red, full, voluptuous lips that would smile teasingly at him before bringing them to his lips. He mentally shook the thought out of his mind; how could he even think of romance with a stranger?

(_calm down syaoran_)

Ah, but she seemed so familiar. His brow furrowed as he struggled to think _why_ it seemed like they had already met. It was at the vestiges of his memory, he knew; it was the same feeling a person had when they know a name of something but he can't remember the name for the life of him. On the tip of the tongue, as they say.

Sakura had greedily lapped the whole bowl up, leaving no traces of a soup ever being there. Syaoran raised an eyebrow at her, unto which she licked her lips coyly. "It was very good," she whispered to him.

"I'm glad you think so. Would you like more?" Syaoran whispered back.

(w_hy am I whispering to her_)

Just as he was about to leave, he turned back to face the girl. "Please don't try to move…I promise I'll be right back." Déjà vu again for her, and she wondered if he had that same feeling.

"I-ok," she whispered, defeated.

(s_yaoran-kun!_)

Her inner self tried to pry into that cool demeanor Sakura had set up for people. And now seeing her koibito in the flesh, his tousled mane, his soft brown eyes, inside dared to try to break through. Oh, but she fought hard and long at her inner self, taunting it mercilessly for years.

(_i'm so scared__scared_)

Sakura grabbed her head and furrowed her face into a furious scrunch. Her lips quivered, her eyes threatening to produce the salty mixture. She only thanked the gods that her Syaoran was out of the room. Her Syaoran. Yes, she still called him that after the-

(_!!SAY IT!!_)

incident.

"_Masaka_, I won't cry!" She forced out through clenched teeth. Pulling her knees up to her chin, the final mental image of the "incident" flashed through her mind. She felt herself crying before she even realized it, the terrible dream she had had once so many years ago becoming reality.

**---**

"Syaoran-kun, stop it!" Sakura giggled against her koibito's chest. Hearing and feeling the ragged breathing, Sakura turned to face her Syaoran. But when she looked up, there was no face. It was so full of blood, so full of pity, pain, remorse, the cruel sense of betrayal.

"No…" Sakura's eyes widened, her mouth dropping into a horrified gasp. Fear shook her breath. Closing her eyes, she repeated the single word she could say: "Time time time time time time time…"

-

The auburn-haired girl lying in the bed opened her eyes quickly to see the tear-stricken woman in front of her.

"Mom?" Sakura's eyes began to well up, but suddenly the woman's tears splattered onto her face. With the tears coming down, Sakura closed her eyes, and her mother's hand enveloped over her eyes.

"I'm sorry, my Sakura…" she continued to weep, "but I can only help with one thing…" Soon the apparition of Sakura's mother began to fade, but one word continued to echo the mysterious resonance.

"Time…"

-

Sakura jumped from the bed. The was having the same dream – no, nightmare – for the past couple of weeks. She didn't know what they meant which wasn't unusual. She never knew what they meant, anyway. All of a sudden, something flew towards her.

She grabbed her sheets and yelped. The yellow "thing" stopped in its tracks and before it could say a word, Sakura answered, "I know, I know, I'm late. Thanks, Kero!" As she continued to bustle around for everything, Kero continued to float.

After she was about to run out the door, Kero ahem-ed. Sakura sighed. "Yes, Kero-chan?" As Sakura began to think of what food course he'd want, she almost missed what he had said entirely.

"…a _job_?" Kero finished.

She adjusted her pants in front of her mirror before tucking her hair behind her ears nervously. "What about a job, Kero-chan? Today is my interview, and I have to make sure that it goes well. I'm entering the work-force." She paused, looking into her eyes, "I need to help my family." She rested her hand on the knob of the door.

Kero sighed. Although she had captured all of the Clow cards, he chose to stay with the lovable Sakura. Besides, she was a great cook, so why not enjoy before sleeping for an eternity, ne?

"Sakura, you've grown so much. The Clow cards have all been captured, and you've past the Final Judgement. Your cooking has surpassed all expectations," Kero's stomach rumbled but he continued, "and you also saved the Chinese brat." This he began to mumble something, and catching Sakura's death glare, he continued, "So, basically, it's been four-ok, maybe three-and-a-half years since the cards have been captured. I've watched you grow all these years…"

"Uh-huh. Are you finished, Kero-chan?"

Sakura looked at the watch Yukito -- the Yukito she knew before he turned into Yue -- had given her when she was ten. She didn't mean to sound curt, but Kero-chan should realize that she had to be on time for her interview.

"Sakura, have you been feeling all right?"

The question made Sakura pause for a second. She debated whether or not to tell him of her dream but decided not to at that moment. She told herself that she would tell him later, and they could think of the meaning together.

(_no…_)

"Ode to Joy" began to play from her cell phone, and she checked for the caller.

(_tomoyo_)

She waved goodbye to Kero as she opened her mouth in a greeting. "Moshi moshi."

"Hey, Sakura, can you come out to Penguin Park? I know you have an interview, but just for five minutes. Actually," Tomoyo's dreamy voice crackled, "give me a call when you're done."

Sakura agreed, and as she walked downstairs, she ran into Touya.

"Hey, squirt." He sounded tired, and she looked at him, wondering where the years had gone. He was her older brother, someone she could depend on, family, but now, she felt like she also had to be there for him as well, the same way he was there for her. She felt guilty for all those times she had goofed around on him. Saying good morning to him, she promised herself that she would make it up to him.

"I'm going to my interview now," she grabbed her jacket from the coat rack. "I'll be home in a few hours." He lifted one side of his lips up, nodding. He wished her luck.

(_we both need it_)

Walking out of the building where the interview had been held, she walked slowly to Penguin Park. So many memories she remembered; they were almost as fresh as they were on the day they had happened. She had called Tomoyo earlier, and she saw the raven hair blowing in the wind. They hugged before Sakura also noticed Syaoran.

She felt her heart speed up.

He said, "You remember what today is?"

Sakura nodded shyly, casting her eyes downward for a couple seconds before meeting his steady gaze. Tomoyo grinned and told them that she was going to meet with Eriol on the other side of the park. Sakura smiled at her gratefully before continuing her study of Syaoran. He was wearing a dark leather jacket, his hair blowing in the wind, his dark brown eyes burning with intensity. Sakura felt a flush beginning to rise as she saw him looking at her carefully. She had picked her most professional clothing.

Syaoran tried hard to only look at her face, she could tell, but she enjoyed the attention she was getting from him. He held out his hand, and she let hers rest on top of his. He brought it up to his lips, handing her the flowers, before brushing his lips against her cheek. They began walking out of Penguin Park with her resting her head on his shoulder.

Tomoyo continued to peer through her video lenses while recording Syaoran and Sakura's dynamics. Honestly, she would say, I feel inspired when I see them together. They have an old romance, she would say. Yet, even though she had a very steady hand, she felt _so _tired. Her eyelids felt so heavy, and they closed before she even realized she had passed out.

Syaoran stopped walking and pulled his hand away from hers, cupping her face in both of his hands. Sakura smiled, bringing her lips up to his. They had been talking of various things and had reached his place.

He leaned down and brought his lips to hers, tentatively. She opened her mouth a little in response and closed her eyes. The kiss was brief, but not their last. They backed away, letting their eyes come in contact, then he grabbed her hands and placed them on the back of his neck. He placed his hands on her waist and leaned in to kiss her again.

He nuzzled her neck as they parted and asked her if she would like to enter. She felt like she couldn't say anything, her throat parched, and she licked her lips. They went up to his bedroom, and she laid there like an angel against his sheets, and Syaoran felt pure. As he stared at her and kissed every inch of her skin, he felt safe and glorious. As they held each other near the end, they felt this could have lasted forever.

-

Sakura was dreaming again, shifting continuously against his sheets. It was time…it was now…_this_ was the _Time_ –

---

"Excuse me?" Syaoran spoke to the girl that had covered her ears. She was sitting on the bed, and tears seemed to be running down her cheeks. He heard a sudden intake of air and saw her hurriedly grab the sheets up to her cheeks and wipe the moisture off.

She smiled at him, her lips finally back to the red color he envisioned. She didn't say anything but eyed the bowl he carried in his hands. Her eyes were rimmed with tears, but he pretended not to notice.

"More soup…" he offered her and watched her eat. "Are you feeling better?"

She nodded her head. "Yes, I do think so. I'm sorry to have imposed…" She fiddled with the spoon in the empty bowl.

"I – I hope it was good soup. My name is Syaoran, by the way." He continued to stand by the bed rather than sit down on it with her.

Sakura was about to say I know, but she replied, "My name is Kinomoto-"

"Sakura," he whispered. Her eyes widened and she began to cough. "That is your name, isn't it?"

Sakura continued to stare at him. (_no…he's not supposed to remember…Syaoran-kun…_) She took his hand and pressed her fingers against his palm. Her fingers were icy against his warm skin. "Yes," she confirmed. Narrowing her eyes, she asked him, "Syaoran…do you remember?"

"Syaoran…" she breathed again, and he looked at her. His brow was furrowed, and she knew he was attempting to figure out what she was speaking about. He wasn't supposed to know _anything_, however. Oh, she remembered those stipulations. She brought her other hand up to his face, and it was shaking. It hovered slightly next to his skin, but she didn't allow herself to touch him. More firmly this time, she said, "Do you _remember_?"

Syaoran stopped. Did he remember her? Did he remember her? No…yes…no…yes! No! He didn't know!

_"Sakura…"_


	3. Chapter Three

**The Past and the Present**  
**By: **Lady Lowe  
**Disclaimer: **See Chs. 1 & 2, if you'd like.  
**AN:** Gomen nasai, I'm sorry for making everyone wait! But here it finally is. Pooface, I remember the first time that I had ever posted this which was like two years ago. Fifty-two reviews, now all gone because FanFiction.Net took it away. Bitch. -=D But thank you for the 23 reviews that I've gotten recently. It doesn't compare, but I'm glad nonetheless. And yes, I had originally posted here first and then MediaMiner.Org, and then forgot about this until another person reviewed at MM.O. Basically, I have yet to work on Chapter Four since I'm feeling quite dejected right now.

**~~~~**

**The Past and Present**  
_Chapter Three _

**~~~~**

The sorrow in her eyes made him ache, and he closed his eyes to kiss her.

_(wrong, wrong!)_

Yes, Syaoran knew it was wrong. But it was so _tantalizingly _wrong. It was like forbidden lust had just knocked on his door. And what man could refuse that?

_(a noble man, a noble man! stop it stop it!!!)_

Sakura gasped beneath, her body arched against his. Her hands slowly ran up his back to his neck, that with an expert's ease, her breath seduced him against his ear.

He moaned in frustration.

_(oh, gods, the clothes, the clothes! make them go away!)_

Syaoran didn't want to speak, but he knew he had to -- before this went too far. How unfortunate. _It already had_.

_(damnit syaoran damnit damnit damnit!)_

His fingers gently kneaded her skin down to her shirt. He gradually pulled off her shirt and kissed the base of her throat before trying to take off the garment.

"Syaoran…Syaoran…this has to stop…" Sakura moaned out, her body responsive to his kneading. She threw her head back against the pillow as Syaoran began to unclasp the black lace bra. He cupped one breast in his hand and massaged it softly.

He wanted to listen to her, but hell, he wanted one taste also. He dipped his head low, as if he didn't hear her, and he let his tongue flick her aroused nipple. Syaoran then locked his mouth against her breast, and he sucked ravenously.

_"Syaoran…_" How eerie it sounded from Sakura. Or maybe how eerie it sounded _to_ Syaoran. It seemed as though that solitary name of his began to reverberate in his ears and began to pound. It had heightened his senses. His sense of perception sharpened, and he stopped suckling. He looked at her, and Sakura's eyes were filled with tears and had a depth of sorrow in them.

_(what the fuck did i do????)_

"Sakura…Sakura…Sakura…I'm so sorry! I didn't mean for this to go that far! I— I – I'm so sorry…" he whispered against his palms. He had risen to a sitting position, his face gone red. He couldn't believe he had almost taken advantage of her.

"It's ok, it's ok," Sakura murmured softly. Her voice was softer than a whisper, and she held the sheets tightly to herself. She knew that it was Syaoran, _her_ Syaoran, and she knew that he might remember…

_BUT HE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO…!_

That was the promise…

Wasn't it?

**AN2:** Another one. Holy shit. Cliffhangers. 


End file.
